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Coping With Grief

COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

There are many ways people cope with the loss of a loved relative or friend. Some cope very well whilst others find it extremely difficult to manage having such feelings as anger, fear, depression and constant crying. Where children are involved, they too can be very confused at this time. There is no 'best' way to cope but there are mechanisms to help assist those who are grieving. Although not necessarily experts in the field, funeral homes are used regularly to deal with such situations and we have access to a variety of literature on the subject and links to reputable expert organisations that can help.

The following stages of grief are commonly experienced, although not everyone will go through all these stages. According to studies the healthy response to grief for people both young and old, who were grieving, passes through the following stages:

  • Denial & Isolation

  • Rage & Anger

  • Rejection

  • Depression

  • Accepting the reality of the loss

  • Adjust to an environment to which the deceased is missing and reinvest energy in other possibilities

You may feel one or all of the above emotions in any order.

Helping yourself to grieve

When it comes to caring for ourselves it can become one of the most difficult things for us to do. Often we are busy and worried about how other people are coping and put off looking after ourselves. The process of our grief is unique to us because our relationship with the deceased is personal and making meaning of this loss may be complex, bewildering and painful. It will take time to adjust to life without them. This is your grief at work, and the journey you will travel through.

CHILDREN AND GRIEF

Experiencing loss in our lives starts at birth. From the loss of a special toy or blanket to the loss of familiar persons (mother or father) leaving the room for a short time we experience separation and pain. Children often teach us as adults how they best cope with their grief. Children at different developmental ages may understand and respond quite differently. For example, a child around the age of 3-5 may say "grandma died today in hospital but she is coming around on Sunday to take me to the park so we will see her ". They often express their thoughts and feelings in different ways such as drawing, play and behavior.

What to say to someone in grief

It's often hard to know just what to say when you know someone who's grieving. The first step is not to think you have to say some words to cheer them up – it's perfectly normal and natural for grieving people to feel sad, angry, numb, scared, lonely or down in the dumps.

Saying something like, "I'm sorry" is simple but can mean so much to someone who is grieving. They often just need someone to talk to, someone who'll let them share their feelings and their memories.

Grief support services

At Cosmopolitan Funeral Services we offer you some resources to help with grief. Please click on the area you are interested in.

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